DON'T PANIC! Government will save internet. LOL.

Fox News reports that the Internet will soon have to be rationed. It won't happen till 2012 though!

That means Amercans will get plenty of time to get used to rationing via Obama's Fannie Mae National Heathcare System when you'll be waiting months for treatment as it's "rationed".

Internet users face regular "brownouts" that will freeze their computers as capacity runs out in cyberspace, according to research to be published later this year.

Experts predict that consumer demand, already growing at 60 percent a year, will start to exceed supply as early as 2010 because of more people working online and the soaring popularity of bandwidth-hungry Web sites such as YouTube and services such as the BBC's iPlayer. It will initially lead to computers being disrupted and going offline for several minutes at a time. Beginning in 2012, however, PCs and laptops are likely to operate at a much reduced speed, rendering the Internet an "unreliable toy."

DON'T PANIC... and note the big friendly letters!

Clearly the government should step in and save us all from Twitter Twilight and Blog Braindeath.

Bureaucrats are so good at innovation and "smart" ideas. In fact, everything the Obamapparatchiks do is so so smart.

Obama need to appoint a Web Czar and a committee to save the day. NOW.

It should be called the...Web And Networks Key Enterprise Research Sub-committee...WANKERS for short.

Janet Napoli-nutso...The DHS's Woman Caused Disaster

Every organization has its whack-jobs -- just look at Obama administration, though it's easier to spot the few sane people.

Just to name one crazy, how about Janet Napolitano? Recently she made an ass of asses of herself as part of Obama's Debase The English Language Program.

SPIEGEL: Madame Secretary, in your first testimony to the US Congress as Homeland Security Secretary you never mentioned the word "terrorism." Does Islamist terrorism suddenly no longer pose a threat to your country?

Napolitano: I presume there is always a threat from terrorism... although I did not use the word "terrorism," I referred to "man-caused" disasters.... but it demonstrates that we want to move away from the politics of fear toward a policy of being prepared for all risks that can occur.

Oh really? I checked Janet Napoli-nutso's 10 page DHS document smearing any conservative who opposes the Obama administration.

It uses the word TERRORIST/TERRORISM 15 times, including these two...

PAGE 3: The DHS/Office of Intelligence and Analysis (I&A) has no specific information that domestic rightwing* terrorists are currently planning acts of violence,

PAGE 2: The information is provided to federal, state, local, and tribal counterterrorism and law enforcement officials so they may effectively deter, prevent, preempt, or respond to terrorist attacks against the United States.

Then there this classic doozy which started as part of the Clinton administration's vast-right wing conspiracy against their divine right to rule.

During the 1990s, these issues contributed to the growth in the number of domestic rightwing terrorist groups...

But to be accurate, surely she means: DOMESTIC RIGHTWING MAN CAUSED DISASTER GROUPS?

And no offense, but doesn't Napolitano look like a Tranny Caused Disaster?

Ron Howard cracks Da Dummy Code

The incredibly rich Hollywood Director Ron Howard took time out of his busy schedule promoting his follow up to his truly bad movie The Da Vinci Code. He wanted to give us the accumulated wisdom he's gleaned from so-called "Europeans."

Apparently Howard The Duck could have been the warm up act for President Obama's recent Blame and Apologize For America Tour

Appearing with Bill Maher (the man who puts mentally ill into mentally ill-informed putz) Ducky has a problem with America being:

1. A Superpower. Hates it.
2. Exporting democracy. Hates democracy.
3. The US military. Hates the military. (That explains the Alamo -- his crappy movie, not the heroic defense.)
4. Being bloated. Yeah, no idea what that means either.

It seems Howard the Duck is a "progressive." A term which goes back to President Woodrow Wilson, 1914-21 (America's first quasi-socialist President).

“Progressive” is now Marxist code for the cult of a reactionary, regressive political movement best described as COLLECTIVIST TOTALITARIANISM of varying pinkist to red hues: from the soft tyranny of the control freak Stateist; to the tyrannical dictatorship supporting the cult of the great leader.

These ideas are at least 200 years old. Communism, socialism, fascism, Marxism, welfare stateism, National Socialism, Nazism. Been there, done that, nothing new to see here. You can't make an omlet without murdering tens of millions.

To back up his supine positions, Ducky claims that:

"I've actually spent a lot more time in Europe and working with crew members and actors and understanding how they live and how they think and they grow up."

I guess he means BRITISH CREWS -- certainly for The Da Vinci Code, and other movies he shot over on Blighty sound stages.

In that case, I can confidently riposte that he's a deluded idiot when it come to the "working-class" types who work as Grips, Clapperboard holders, Foleys, Set Builders, et al on British sound stages and on location.

(And yes, I do vaguely know what I'm talking about, being a working-class lad who once wrote a TV ad which was shot at the famous Shepperton Studios.)

Although heavily unionized, these guys (invariably men) are typical "working class" Tories (conservative). The older ones, back in the conservative day, voted for Maggie Thatcher to a man.

If he really understood the British movie crews, he'd know they don't think of themselves as "European" for starters

If he really talked to them, he'd hear their talk about how the UK is being ruined by socialists. How an orgy of unrestrained immigration into a country slightly smaller than Oregon was destroying their national identity. How crime was out of control. How their taxes were going through the roof. How the country was dissolving into irrelevancy.

Oh -- you'd have thought little stuff like that may have resonated around that empty noggin.

The SUPER-RICH actors, on the other hand. Well, they love Obama. They love socialist high taxes. Mainly because they employ bigtime lawyers and accountants to move heaven, earth and countries, so as not to pay their share of high taxes. Good gig huh?

Oh and Ron -- do you REALLY think that some lowly stagehand is going to "argue" with the boss about "politics"? I'm thinking they do what all those who know which side their bread is buttered... they just nod and mutter "whatever you say, guv."

This is Pauline Kael Syndrome -- the celebrated dimwit who was shocked I tells ya, that Nixon won because she didn't know anyone on the Upper East Side who voted for Tricky Dicky, dahlink!

What a elitist jerk Howard is, to even mouth this rubbish.

When filming in Pinewood for months, did Ducky invite any of his crew to those swanky dinner parties in some billionaire's mansion in the elite Buckinghamshire countryside?

Did he swap bon-mots with Tom and Sir Ian, whilst taking oysters and champers at The Ivy -- haunt of the rich and famous? Did the Duckster chat amiably over a late supper with the Camera Gate Checker at Pierre Marco White's latest super-exclusive Chelsea eaterie?

Err, probably not. The thing I loath most about Howard is not his utter ignorance. It's his arrogant assumption that his "crew" thinks like he does. Then amazingly, he "suddenly" finds that European liberal elites think just like him. Whoopsy-do! Who knew they were all champagne socialists-- just like HIM!

Fortunately "actors" in Europe, such as Sir Ian McKellan (big shill for the British Labor Party), educated him in the benefits of their Nationalized Health Service. Not that McKellan uses the British crappy socialist healthcare system personally, doncha know. He’s RICH. Where’s my pitchfork?

Not that Howard will be using Obama's Fannie Mae Healthcare System planned for America. How very progressive of you, Ron Howard The Duck.

Yo Ho Ho... And a bottle of dumb

Have you thought of the laughable absurdity of this:

There's a small lifeboat, 4 Muslims armed with AK-47s and one captive, in the middle of the ocean, surrounded by US Warships...

And the President of the United States sends in... (DRUM ROLL) an FBI negotiator.

God almighty.

Now, anyone care to muse why that gutsy Captain, who tried to escape, wasn't immediately grabbed up by covert Seal Teams within ear shot of that life boat?

Orders from el Presidente, maybe?

Meanwhile Senator John Kerry (D) (who served in Vietnam, by the way) is to hold SENATE PIRATE HEARINGS...

Provisional List of Witnessses

Johnny Depp
Long John Silver
Jim Hawkins
Captain Hook
Peter Pan
Blackbeard

C-Span in alliance with Arrr-Span and Pirate Radio is expected to cover the whole proceedings live next Monday thru Thursday.

Meanwhile the smartest, handsomest, bravest and buffest man who ever lived, everer -- President Obama is boning up on the subject by reading Robert Louis Stevenson's Treasure Island, J.M. Barrie's Peter Pan; and taking a fact-finding trip on Airforce One to Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean theme park ride

REALITY:
Here's what I don't understand about the whole "pirate" thing under the Obama administration.

Hillary Clinton has emphasized that this is a "criminal matter."

Okay -- then how can the Obama administration use the US military to settle any criminal act?

In "criminal" acts, doesn't the Justice Department have to follow certain procedures.

1. Miranda rights?

2. Legal protections for the "criminals," such as chain of evidence?

3. Prosecution of any Marines for any action that violates their "rights." Hell they've prosecuted US troops for killing terrorists in a war zone.

Oh well, when it's all resolved, I expect the President to give us another Obowa.

Coming soon to a TV near you...The Obowa

Anyone surprised that it's Obamamateur Night Out all over: DVDs, Royal wePods from Cosco.

Statecraft protocol has been established over the centuries to avoid insulting the leaders of other countries. Provoking wars, and other of life's little unpleasantnesses.

You know... you meet the King of Togo, mistake his wife for his lunch, and before you know it, bows and arrows are being deployed.

Obama is the head of state. When he meets other heads of state he meets an equal, no matter how big, small, significant or insignificant the state in question.

It's long-established protocol. Doesn't change, despite Obama's hopey-changey-feely PR generated childish idiocy.

So what to make of President Obama when he bows low to King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia at the G(od-awful)-20?

Well it's easy. You do not bow to an equal, even if they are a monarch. Did he bow to the Queen of England as he handed over the $200 iPod a staffer picked up on eBay for a snip? A calculated sly insult, if ever there was one.

Well, I missed that bow. But she accepted the regifting with good grace--even though she isn't an insomniac, for which his pre-loaded collected speeches would have been the perfect cure.

Here's the fact: It's a shameful act of subservience for the head of state of the United States to bow to any other head of state.

I don't believe career staffers at the State Department don't know this. That's absurd.

This is so weird that I can't even fathom what's going on. Arrogant, distainful and dismissive know-nothing know-it-all at home. Apologizing, crawling, bowing world-class know-nothing abroad.

I'm a carbon-based lifeform... so screw you eco-loon!

Thank God for CARBON DIOXIDE.

This colorless, odorless gas (known as Dry Ice in its solid form) is essential for life on earth.

That is why, of course, the vast abundance of this essential atmospheric gas (96%) is produced naturally by Mother Earth -- or Gaia, as some ecoloons insist on calling her.

Even though in itself, CO2 is an infinitesimal part per million of the atmosphere, is it vital for the growth of all plants and vegetation, and for sustaining life on earth for all species.

Simply put, the more Carbon Dioxide, the lusher and healthier the vegetation.

JACK: Thanks for all the great work CO2.

CO2: You're welcome Jack! My Pleasure!

JACK: When's Carbon Dioxide Day?

CO2: Dunno Jack. But sounds like a great idea. Organize it.

JACK: I will.

CO2: Well alright then.