January 24, 2009

TERRORISTIC'S ANNONYMOUS:
12 STEP PROGRAM

Now that the Hopeless One has made a knee-jerk, totally politicized, un-nuanced leftist reaction to close Guantanamo Bay, and stop the War on Terror, he's gotten his crack team working on something really vital...

NEW NAMES to change the tone in Washington.

For instance, now America's and Bush's war on terror is over, according to the new President:
"our nation is at WAR with a FAR REACHING NETWORK of violence and hatred?"
Oh yeah? And who's running this "network"? NBC, ABC, CBS? The Mormons?

So here's a suggestion on renaming Gitmo. How about: Camelot/The Caribbean White House; or The Oval Office Southern Command. Spiffy huh?

Of course, Al-kayda is very excited that its Gitmo operatives will soon be back to their lawful Islamic activities of a terrorizin', a torturin' and a killin.' As such they've composed a little ditty to celebrate the one called Hussein:
If the Gimo’s a closin’, expect martyrs to be explodin’
But they are worried that the U.S. zionist pigs may have brainwashed them, as such they are establishing ...

TERRORISTICS' ANNONYMOUS 12 STEP PROGRAM TO PARADISE
1. We admitted we were powerless to influence the filthy Infidel, Christian, Jew, Hindu, and that slacker jerk at Blockbusters who always calls us dude while he smokes a reefer.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to oppressing women and hanging homosexuals from cranes.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of ALLAH as we understood Him to be one smokin’ hot mother.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of the women of Hooters.

5. Admitted to ALLAH, to ourselves, and to other human beings (excluding the Jew sons of apes and pigs) the exact nature of our wrongs including our healthy obsession with DVD porn and re-runs of The View.

6. Were entirely ready to have ALLAH remove all these defects of character in others first.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings like: BO, large unsightly facial moles, tombstone teeth, and zits.

8. Made a list of all persons we wish to harm, and became willing to make jihad on their ass.

9. Made direct violent attacks to such people wherever possible, except when to do so wouldn't harm JEWS or other INFIDELS.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and, when we were wrong, promptly lied though our rotten teeth about it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with ALLAH as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of just how smokin’ are those 72 Virgins, do they (hopefully) include sisters, and is pizza readily available after?

12. Having had a 40 degree proof spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to crazy Mullahs, and to practice these principles in all our evil deeds, so help us Allah.

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