September 28, 2005

Hail to the Briefs, it’s the Commander-in-Thong

There have been a few Hollywood TV shows recently that purport to be about Washington DC politics. The West Wing, Mr. Sterling and the ABC’s newest piece of show fiction: Commander-in-Chief.

West Wing exists in a bizarro Democrat universe where 9/11 never happened, and a tiny leftoid loony pretends to be President of the United States for an hour a week, 22 weeks a year. (A fair exchange, we say, for a Republican to be the actual President for eight years in the real universe.)

They are all, of course, leftoid Democratic fantasy shows. Mainly because they are all created and written by Democratic party hacks. West Wing was the first one out of the box, but it made the tactical error of having President Bartlett as a Bill Clinton clone, ergo a Democrat. Thus making it so much easier for us uncompassionate conservatives to mock it relentlessly.

Please note that having learned that lesson, Hollywood made the short-lived Sterling (about a US Senator), and hopefully soon-to-be-canceled C-in-C (about a female US President) both independents. Naturally they just happen to espouse predominantly leftist views. Who could have guessed?

Thing is, in the current Congress there is only one independent – a real raving loon called Bernie Sanders, a socialist Democrat. And the idea that there would ever be an independent running mate is, well... Jesse Jackson has more chance of winning a combined modesty and celibacy award.

So it’s La DeeCee La Land. Take that to the Fed.

Louis Wittig in National Review has the take to take…

Commander is an archetypal liberal tale: A hero is challenged by blind prejudice but rises to show us that when we embrace equality and diversity, it all works out. While on a state visit to Paris, Vice President Allen learns her boss has had an aneurysm. The ensuing dialogue sounds like something that’s been translated into a foreign language and then translated back to English in a hurry (“So what happens now? Do I take the oath?” “Can you smell the history?”.
The purpose of this show is about as subtle as a James Carville “joke”. Though staring Geena Davis it is marginally better looking.

Conservatives may laugh that the Pavlovian slavering of Democrats for political power is so psychotic, they have to create TV fiction to satiate this obsession. But make no mistake about the blindingly obvious semi-sub-text here. To soften up the American people for a Presidential candidate of the female persuasion.

Not that there is anything wrong with that female aspiration. After all, we Brits, holed up here in the clock-tower at Hollycrud and Vine with our Sharps, did vote in the conservative Maggie Thatcher all of 26 years ago. So we assume our American cousins are more than up to accepting a female President

Now I wonder if there’s even the remotest chance one such candidate is on the slate. Mmmmm, I wonder. Hang on, it’s coming. Oh yeah, Condi Rice. No sorry, she’s a Republican and not the “right sort of woman, to paraphrase Ruth Bader Ginsberg the judicial legislater masquerading as a Supreme Court Justice.

Here’s a clue from Newsmax:

ABC insiders deny there's any connection between real-life presidential candidate Hillary Clinton and their new TV show "Commander-in-Chief" - where Geena Davis makes her debut tonight as America's first woman president.

But it turns out the show's lead writer is a long-time Clinton campaign insider who held a top job in Hillary's press office.

"Writer Steve Cohen used to work for her in the 1990s, serving as the then-first lady's deputy communications director," reports the Village Voice.

"I have no doubt she is capable, qualified, and ready to be the president of the United States should she choose to run," Hillary's scriptwriter tells the paper.

That’s the ABC stance. Mind you, CBS still stands by the forged Rathergate documents. It's a funny old world.
September 25, 2005

Hollywood's idea of terrorist profiling

Debbie Schlussel has the shocking skinny on the Jodie Foster flick Flight Plan. You know the new movie that really has its pulse on the root causes of terrorism.

And guess what, it’s not the Islamo-communists or Muslimo-fascists.

No... the real terrorists are Flight Attendants and Air Marshals. That’s right, folks just like those men and women who had their throats slit and were beaten to death on the four 9/11 flights.

As Debbie explains:

It's been four years of bad news for flight attendants.
First, 9/11 happened. Then, they were laid off. With airline bankruptcies like Northwest's, they are being laid off again. Now, in another blow, the movie, "
Flight Plan," is hitting theaters, tomorrow. Starring Jodie Foster, it's an outrageous piece of propaganda and incredible display of the irresponsible.
I'm embarrassed to say that a very distant cousin of mine--
Charles J.D. Schlissel--is executive producer of this outrage. The J.D. must stand for "Just Despicable." If you're a freedom-loving American like me, the rotten tricks of this movie will disgust you.

Nauseating huh? (Puke inducing if you’re from Flyover country!)

You see, Hollywood doesn’t approve of racial profiling of terrorists. Well, not if they’re Arabs. And besides, according to the H’wood, they’re not the real terrorist threat. Nah, it’s those mythical angry white guys.

That’s why in Hollywood movies the bad guys generally turn out to be some sort of Aryan race militia deal.

Please don’t misunderstand, we at Hollycrud don’t approve of white, Jew-Hating Nazis. In fact, our fathers’ and grandfathers’ generation spent the best part of six years fighting them across Europe and the Pacific.

It’s just that our definition of Nazi is somewhat broader these days – and it doesn’t include us conservatives. Hollywood sees terrorists and Nazis as that militia group in the backwoods obsessed with the “Zionist conspiracy.” And there are some of those, no doubt.

We see Nazis and terrorists as Bin Laden, Yassir Arafat, the head-lopping scum in Iraq with unpronounceable names, the new President of Iran. Folk like that. You know, actual terrorists. Actual Jew haters. Actual Muslims, in fact.

And we haven’t even started with groups like CAIR, International ANSWER and all the other assorted Nazis hiding in plain sight – usually as extreme left-wing groups.

The warped ideologies of National Socialists and Communists/Socialist are all much of a muchness to the everyday conservative folk who comprise the vast majority of people.

No matter how they spin, these groups all want state control of you, your property, your children, your education, your health care. Totalitarian government, no rights, no dissent, imprisonment, torture and death. Oh – and death to the Jews to the power of ten

And while all Muslims are not terrorists; the vast, the humungous, the overwhelming numbers of global terrorist acts are plotted and committed by those of the “Islamic” persuasion. Sorry, but that’s a fact, Jack!

So it would be nice, just once, to see a major studio Hollywood movie that told the truth about exactly where the terrorists come from. Unequivocally. Unashamedly. No caveats.

And no chance, of course.

September 15, 2005

G. Paltrow: Her Royal Blondness Speaks

I have no idea if Gwyneth Paltrow is as dumb as a Post-Intelligencer editorial (Seattle variety). I do know she constantly says dumb things about subjects which she is not intellectually equipped to discuss.

If you must, read and groan at what her Royal Blondness has to say in an obsequiously fawning piece from Richard Groen in some Canadian rag called
The Globe & Mail.

Maybe she can’t be blamed. After all, she’s hooked up with a particularly odious, hate-America, prematurely balding, smug leftoid who fronts a tedious “rock and roll” beat combo called Coldplay.

Believe me, I’d rather be forced at gunpoint to listen to Nana Mouskouri singing Greek folk music at Ozzy volume for one week solid (a la Noriega) than endure one minute of a typical Coldplay dirge.

And then there's Paltrow’s background, which reeks of the US royalty some Americans naively think they banished after they kicked us Brits up the Potomac way back in 1776.

That would be the noblesse noblige mindset of the softheaded but powerful liberal cabals who dominate the US communications media, academia, some surprising large corporate interests and, of course, Hollywood.

So she works under the delusion that … well, let’s just say she espouses every tedious Institutionally Leftist piece of claptrap that ever came down the pike. And like a week old lake caught pike, it stinks from the blond head down.

This is how ignorant she is of what people outside her “class” think…
"Yes, well, I went to Spain in an exchange program at 15, and I've always been drawn to Europe. America is such a young country, with an adolescent swagger about it. But I feel that I have a more European sensibility, a greater respect for the multicultural nature of the globe. And it's a strange time to be an American now."

For a start, why is it a “strange time” to be an American? No... it may be a strange time to be a fully paid up member of the “liberal elites” American. The variety that constantly lose state and federal elections running on quasi-socialist and Hollywood values against everyday, overtaxed Americans.

And really, is it that strange anyway? Especially as the monopoly of thought and doublespeak from the Mainstream Media was broken by advances like the Internet, Bloggers, and Free Speech Radio?

“Multicultural nature of the globe”? This is such a piece of meaningless twaddle that it defies ridicule. Assuming that this does not refer to the Boston Globe, but the actual planet, which most ten year olds could tell you is made up of over 200 countries and many cultures.

And “European Sensibility”? Is that the “sensibility that led to Lenin and the Gulags which murdered at least 50 million people? Or maybe that other non-swaggering European, Hitler? Well we all know how well that turned out for the people of Europe, especially the Jews, Gypsies, Homosexuals, Slavs, and Poles.

Mmmm, the thing is, she doesn’t even live in Europe. She lives in the England bit of Britain. Here’s a heads up for Americans who labor under the delusion that Brits think of themselves as “European.”

Oh, they do in certain elites that bear a passing resemblance to the US effete elites mentioned above. However I can assure you the average Briton no more thinks of himself as European, as he thinks of himself as a Homosexual. Around one per cent.

So she can’t even get that right. However there’s one thing she gets right for those Flyover Country Americans...

(Of whom she knows little, and could care less even though they actually pay to keep her royal lily white ass pampered preened and ever so nubile!)

...Malice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore. That's right, she's left the home of the brave and land of the free - except for work, health care and dentistry.

Unfortunately for me though, Gwynnie now lives like royalty in my country instead. And that’s one Queen too many in my book.

September 11, 2005

Clinton would have stopped Hurricane Ka’Tri’Na

America’s first black* President, Bill Clinton called in to the BET telethon to express support and was asked by co-host Steve Harvey what his administration would have done differently if it were in power during the hurricane.

Clinton claims he would have “federalized” the Republican Weather Machine to prevent the Hurricane in the first place.

Former President Clinton told Harvey...

“Ma fellow African-Americans... Y’alls knows da diff between Democrats and Republicans. I rapped with ma true peeps… honest bros like Michael Moore, Sandy Berger, Richard Clarke, Pinocchio and moveon dot commie. They laid some big T.R.U.T.H. on me, homeys. S'known fact down in da hood, El Presidente Bush diverted federal funds meant for ma poor, ma tired, ma huddled masses into a diabolic machine that controls the weather for whitey.

"Y’see, what y’alls don’t realize ma brothers an’ sisters, oh yeah, is Hurricane Ka’Tri’Na was aimin' for all whitey areas like Beverly Blings an' Cape Cracker, 'til the devil himself, KKK Rove... programs his evil computrifier to send that bitch Ho'cane all da way to ma crib in N’Awlins. And dats da truth, y'all.”

*Although suffering since the late sixties from a progressive skin ailment that turned his skin a sickly pale white, ex-President Clinton was in fact a fifth generation descendent of black sharecroppers and is also one-fifth American Indian. His given African/Indian name is Kwanza Clinton Whitewater Kun'Sar.
September 09, 2005

Hollywood's Terrorist Must Watch List


This is the best news we've heard since a few brave Swift Boat Vets fired a torpedo up the assinine John Kerry last year.

According to the anti-America, anti-Israel, antediluvian Brit leftist rag
The Guardian, more than 200 detainees in Guantánamo Bay are in their fifth week of a hunger strike.

Have you noticed that while Muslims aren't that good at democracy and human rights, they are fantastic on suicide missions? And they love bogus fasts like Ramadan where they pretend not to eat for a month?

And while it's good news that this particular "suicide" mission won't also kill, say, a bus load of Jews in Haifa, we are worried that it's not painful enough for them. Not nearly at all.

Remember the right to kill the helpless attorney George Felos, aided by the illiberal left? They were always lecturing us uncompassionate conservatives as they cheered on the starving to death of our cruely abused sister, Terri Schiavo. (God rest her soul.)

Apparently it's a painless, euphoric way to go. In fact, Felos assured us it's extremely beautiful.

George Felos, long-time counsel of Terri's estranged husband Michael Schiavo, (said)that Terri looked "beautiful" as she lay dying.

While virtually all other eyewitnesses described the dying brain-injured woman as "gaunt," "drawn," "struggling" and "fighting like hell" for life, Felos described Terri as "beautiful" and "peaceful" to reporters during a Saturday press conference:
Our only caveat being that when asked if they were being force fed, a US military spokesflack said:
They are being held in the same standards as US prison standards... they don't allow people to kill themselves via starvation.
Get that: convicted felons aren’t allowed to starve themselves to death, yet an innocent women is ordered such a fate by a malevolently arrogant and stupid judge. You think the Framers are sometimes tempted to return to this veil of tears and kick revolutionary butt?

So where does Hollywood enter this diatribe of reason from us here at Hollycrud Towers…

Check out the
WorldNetDaily report on a Hollywood fantasy flick aimed at depicting a released Canadian Guantanamo detainee as a reformed young man who now rejects terrorism and his family's ties to al-Qaida.

Oh yeah, and it's slated to star perpetual teenager, the 42 year old Johnny Depp as the 21 year old Abdurahman Khadr.

But there's irrefutable evidence that Khadr's "true" story doesn't quite fit the feel-good script proposed by Paramount Pictures.

Apparently Khadr is the son of Ahmed Saeed Khadr, a Canadian citizen whom the U.S. has accused of having direct ties to Osama bin Laden. He also is the brother of Omar Khadr, who is accused of killing a U.S. Special Forces medic.

Ah yes… the terrorist family that prays together, stays together.