DEMOCRAT CONGRESS UNVEILS PLANTO REGULATE UNIVERSE

Democrat Congress unveils plan to regulate Universe
Deepak Vijay Throwt, The Politiscum
5/27/08
Following NASA's success with the Phoenix Mars Lander, the Senate met today to debate an emergency bill to stop DRILLING ON MARS immediately.

Senate leader Harry Reid (D-Nevada) opened the proceedings with a statement...

"Mars is a pristine wilderness untouched by man. No one can know what damage a human designed drilling device may have on the helpless microbes that may exist under the Martian surface.

The microbes may, one day, grow up and evolve into cute Polar Bears, or the vicious Saber Toothed Pelosi. Think of the children.

As homosexual, transgendered, transvestial and heterosexual beings we have a duty to protect the ENTIRE universe from this exploitation.

For this reason the Democrat position is clear... for the sake of the Martian environment we must NEVER drill on Mars. Stop the MADNESS now!"

Following his speech Senator Reid became tired and emotional as he was helped from the Senate floor by men in white coats. He was immediately transported to a secure location.

MEDIA IN TANK FOR OBAMA...LUCKILY IT'S THE DUKAKIS TANK

The media is in full protection mode for Senator Barack Obama, a man with a resume thinner than an anorexic super-model, but possesesing all her foreign policy knowledge.

So it's quite amusing to listen to the spittle drooling Matthews, Shuster and the rest of MSNBC's Obama worshipping hacks, who don't know much about history.

In particular, they have managed to take offense at some fairly obvious remarks President Bush made to the Knesset. This would be Bush's contention that the idea of "talking" to raging dictators, in the insane hope you can change their minds, is somewhat, uh -- misguided. As proved by Neville Chamberlain.

That led spit-boy Matthews to have a hysterical fit whist "interviewing" a pretty dumb Radio jock who didn't quite understand what Neville Chamberlain did in the years prior Munich.

Memo to MSNBC: the actual policy of appeasing Hitler DID NOT begin and end with the Munich Agreement which shamefully recognized Hitler's right to the Sudetenland.

Appeasement of Hitler began in 1933 and ran thru to 1939, with Chamberlain being an integral part of all the meaningless "talks" and "diplomacy," to which Hitler had NO intent of ever being persuaded by.

He simply used that time to plot and build up his armed forces whilst breaking every treaty. It was what he planned all along, NO MATTER what France and England said, did, threatened, blustered or capitulated on.

Just like Iran is doing today.

The Munich agreement was simply the written CULMINATION of all that previous pointless activity, but hey... what the hell, it made the appeasers feel oh so good that they weren't like that horrible warmonger Churchill.

And hey ho -- so six million Jews were exterminated, the world was plunged into a world war which killed another 30 million...

Forget that -- the really really important thing is to ensure that a naive fool like Obama is protected by a spittle drooler and his audience, which knows even less than him. And that's saying something.

So it is perfectly analogous to Obama's idiotic idea of him, personally, as President, talking with Iran face to face. What an ignorant dumbkopf Obama truly is.

Well, he was, after all, a "community organizer," thus is perfectly trained to be a liberal appeaser.

Yes, as Matthews was vaguely aware yesterday, Chamberlain did sign an agreement with Hitler, but that was merely a codified act of appeasement that followed on from all those fruitless "talks."

Following years of "talks" and "diplomacy," the first appeasement by Chamberlain and others, was the Anschluss, (annexation) of Austria into Greater Germany by the Nazi regime on March 12, 1938.

And seeing Iran has been annexing parts of Lebanon through its proxies for years, there again is another perfect analogy.

So please, let’s have less of the self-satisfied grunts from leftists whose grasp of history is even less tenuous than Keith Olbermann's relationship with reality.

MRS OBAMA GIVES ABLACK DOUR SALUTE

Michelle Obama seems to be an unhappy, middle-aged black woman. I have a scream, indeed. But why?

She went to Princeton and graduated. She’s now gotten herself a few million in the bank; picked up a huge mansion for a song; oh ... and her husband is running for President based on the highly controversial platform of hope!

What’s not to like? Well America apparently.

It’s almost as if Michelle Obama is a bitter person clinging to her sub-Marxist views on all sorts of things: capitalism, race, politics and culture.

So why the black dour salute Michelle?

Let’s take her Princeton thesis as the alpha and the omega. Now the whole idea of going to a Ivy League college is to broaden your horizons. Expand your mind. Meet new people who think differently. Enrich yourself intellectually.

It’s where YOU, the individual human-being, should experience the collective wisdom of those who came before, and upon whose shoulders we all stand. There are millenniums of Western thought to absorb, if you let it happen.

So what is Michelle Obama’s thesis about? It’s supposedly an analysis of other African-Americans who attended Princeton, and how that that affected “their” perception of what it means to be black.

In other words, her thesis is all about her.

It’s a narcissistic exercise in race-gazing. It’s the race thang.

All Michelle Obama (nee Robinson) appears to have gotten out of Princeton is the idea that what the black community needs is for them not to engage in the capitalist backbone of America.

Nah, that’s a “race” sell out to whitey. No, what Michelle thinks is that blacks need to REJECT the “white” work value and become social workers.

Just like her husband. Who never clerked for a Supreme Court Justice, but, as the first black President of the Harvard Law Review,who could have written his own ticket, became a “Community Organizer.” Sure.

THROUGH AN ASS, DARKLY

The extreme left-wing, anti-"zionist" (i.e. Jew hating) British rag The Guardian now thinks it is its duty to carry the water for American socialists, these days.

Remember its disastrous attempt to influence the 2004 Presidential race? Americans didn't like it. Well, those few who heard about it.

So last week it promotes a nutty conspiro-theory espoused by Spike Lee on behalf of the man who redefines HATE PREACH downwards: The Reverend Wright-Nutter.

Do the right thing and shut up, Lee urges pastor.
Xan Brooks
Thursday May 1, 2008

'If he loves Obama he needs to shut up right now'... Spike Lee on Jeremiah Wright.
Director Spike Lee has waded into the ongoing controversy surrounding Jeremiah Wright, the Chicago pastor whose provocative statements have proved a thorn in the side of Democrat frontrunner Barack Obama. Lee advises the preacher to do the right thing and keep quiet. "The more he opens his mouth, the more damage he does," he told the Guardian yesterday.

For good measure, Lee hinted at a political conspiracy behind Wright's recent, contentious attempts to justify his remarks. "It looks like he's being paid to keep talking," he said.

As one of the few people who liked Lee's flick on his Summer of Sam serial killer, I feel totally qualified to comment on Spike, and his nutty conspiro-theories.

Now here's a observation about the narcissistic Jeremiah Wright. Have you ever seen a guy who you know needs NO money to keep on talking?

You could offer Wright a million dollars, and he still wouldn't SHUT UP. He cannot. His mouth is surgically attached to his foot. He has no off switch.

Okay he lives in the Windbag City... but he could move to the Motor Mouth City any time.

Sorry Spike, but you're barking mad up the wrong tree here.

Jong, Demented and Hack

Erica Jong is one of those "famous" writers whose fame rests on them hitting all the liberal pass points; and is utterly dependent on all their pals favorably reviewing their opuses in the New Yorker, the NY Slimes, et al.

You try to read them, then give up after page 20 because, well, life's too short to fry your brain with the banalities of Femi Nazi tripe. A Zipless Cluck, indeed.

But let's be honest here. If she'd looked like the typical Stalin-faced "feminist" of the 1960s, like Betty Friedan, she'd have got nowhere.

But don't be fooled by the photo here. Back then in her prime, she was a boffo babe. A right little hottie. Men wanted to fuck her, rather than read her. And that's it. We’re such predictable scum aren’t we chaps?

Fear of Not Being Thought Hip, is a reliable talentometer by which to assess which author to read of the millions out there. If it's a hip liberal, forget it. Steven King (while actually a tedious liberal Democrat in real life) just happens to be one of America's greatest living writers (despite Cell), but... he's not hip with liberals.

Our Erica is also a Puffington Post blogress alongside another reliably idiotic liberal lady writer, the equally batty Nora Ephron. She's also Jewish -- this is important, as I will explain in the money shot.

This Sunday Jong went to bat for the Rev. Wright based on the slimy performance with Bill Moyers, and by slimy, I mean Moyers. Wright was his normal unhinged self, just slightly more softly-spoken. Moyers was his normal slimy, unctuous liberal self and asked questions that would embarrass a ten year old.

The funny thing is that the day after Jong raved about Wright, her messiah finally tried to push Wright under that Granny bus -- using the same reasoning Jong had just excoriated as unacceptable the day before.

Here's one sample of Jong's hopeless reasoning. Now how anyone who has actually heard the raving Reverend sermonize can say this beats me, but she did... actually.

"This is a pastor I'd listen to on a Sunday"

My question to Erica is quite succinct...

Erica...does your Rabbi know you're sneaking off, on a Sunday, to Church, to listen to a Jew hating anti-Semite, spewing Hate Preach?

Oy vey, what a schmuck! That would be Erica: Jong, Demented and Hack.

The First Barack President of the...Harvard Law Review

Now with the greatest respect, I imagine anyone can be a community organizer and/or social worker, if they really set their mind to it. You certainly don't need to have attended Columbia and Harvard.

But not everyone could clerk for, say, a stellar, gold standard Federal judge; and especially a US Supreme Court justice. You have to be really over-qualified and over-bright to do that. I mean, super-nova, about 0.01% of us, I guess.

Perhaps you have to go to Harvard, study law, and become President of the Harvard Law Review. They only have one a year, so I'm thinking that has to be pretty prestigious, elite position that carries clout in any Judicial clerkship you may seek. Puts you at #1 in the interview stakes.

Now if that man also happened to be the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, man... that HAS to be a home run.

Now we know Obama has bought into this activist judiciary. It's a means of gaining the nebulous concept of social justice, simply by the conceit of bypassing the legislature, thereby making the U.S. constitution mean what ever you have decided it means.

I think that's a crock, myself, as do all conservatives.. but Obama believes this liberal litmus test hook, line and clunker.

So you would think he might have concluded back then, that taking this route would be a much better option to effect the bogus change he apparently seeks. But instead he chose to start out as a most-anyone-can-do-it community organizer whose overall impact would be very minor, to be very kind.

So why didn't this smart, ambitious, highly-qualified HLR President follow the path of legal excellence?

Interesting question, no?

And imagine how beneficial for all of us had Obama clerked for Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas?

al-Qaida #2 slams Rosie O'Donnell over 9/11

CAIRO, Egypt (AP) - in an audiotape released Tuesday, Osama bin Laden's chief deputy accused Rosie O'Donnell of trying to discredit the Sunni al-Qaida terror network by spreading the conspiracy theory that President Bush, neo-cons, the Illuminati, the Masons, the Shriners, and Israel were behind the Sept. 11 attacks...

One of the questioners asked about these conspiracy theories that have circulated in the Middle East and elsewhere claiming others were behind the 2001 attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon.

"The purpose of this lie is clear... To suggest that there are no heroes among the Sunnis who can hurt America as no else did in history. Iranian media snapped up this lie and repeated it." he said.

A clearly emotional Al-Zawahri went on to say he stopped watching The View after he heard Rosie O'Donnell make her outrageous claims live on air "(that) fire has never melted steel.... Gulf of Tonkin people, google it."

"After a hard day's terrorizing I looked forward to kicking back and watching The View. That El-Izabeth Hasselbeck (pbuh) is one hot mama. And Barbara Walters is one sexy MILF -- or maybe GGILF. Grrrrrrrr.

I used to think Rosie O'Donnell would make a perfect addition to my harem with her ample charms and child-bearing hips. But now I understand she is clearly a Jewess in the pay of the Shiites. Fire does melt steel you Zionist dumkopf."

Ms O'Donnell declined to comment for this article.

Nora Ephron: Deep Clot is Clueless In Washington

Ace political analyst, and Oscar nominated screenwriter, Nora Ephron is a tolerant liberal. As such she’s very comfortable at making trite generalizations based on her stereotyping of a whole class of people.

Now I don’t want to get into a whole...should people who look like Secretariat really be making gratuitous insults against others. That’s a generalization, but you decide.

Nora is famous for writing a few movies in which the number of leading black faces can be counted on the fingers of a handless man. That is: ZERO.

When White Harry Met Pale Sally... Blackless in Seattle... You've Got White Male... Bewhited......

But that’s not even my main point. You notice Nora’s impeccable circular logic that so befits a liberal. The “when did you stop beating your wife” question?

So no matter which candidate the white male registered Democrat votes for, it is irrelevant. If it's Obama, then they are a misogynist. If it’s Clinton, then they are a racist. Heads you lose, tails you lose again white scumbag!

So being a white male means you can’t win. Except if you marry Nora. Like Carl Bernstein of Deep Throat fame, Nora’s second white husband.

Lecturing us recently about the whole Spitzer/hooker scandal, the effortlessly superior liberal Nora droned...

"Prostitution is a victimless crime..."

Back in 1986, Clueless in Washington (that would be Nora) had no idea her hubby was having an “affair” right under her nose with one of her best friends! That would be an also married British politician slash media whore. She was/is Margaret Jay – who also looked like a horse.

Ephron was pregnant with her second son, Max at the time. So traumatized was she when she found out what the whole of trendy Washington knew, Ephron delivered her baby son – sorry, I mean fetus son, prematurely as a result.

Maybe if she had two daughters she wouldn't be so cavalier about women selling their bodies for money as, oddly enough, news of HER husbands infidelity caused her so much emotional distress, her baby was born early.

Sure Nora... no victims here. Let's all move on.

Maybe that’s why she now has it in for racist and/or sexist white men. Apparently they are the bedrock of the Democrat Party! Who knew.

Obama insults his base: white billionaires

From our sister fake news blog comes this exclusive from the campaign trail.

Don’t expect the Main Stream Media, which is in the Dukakis tank for Obama, to cover this bombshell.

Senator Obama apologizes for calling rich, white, upper-classes "bitter"
Deepak Vijay Throwt, The Politiscum
4/14/08

Barack Obama's support amongst his core constituency of super-rich, guilt trippin' whites continued to fall after the release of a tape of him making critical comments about this elite group.

"You go into these small towns in the Hamptons, and a lot of elite enclaves near Martha’s Vineyard, the snobs have been here now for 25 years and nothing's replaced them.

"And it's not surprising then they get bitter, they cling to Gucci or the religion of Manmade Global Warming; or antipathy to people who aren't like themselves: plumbers, poolboys, cops, troops, ordinary folks; or anti-gun sentiment; or anti-SUV sentiment, as a way to explain their frustrations."

An unnamed San Francisco billionaire, speaking on conditions of anonymity, told The Politiscum that he and his other rich chums were very upset at this blatant stereotyping.

"We... like, you know.. thought he was one of us. Okay, he is this ‘person of color’... but that's way cool to hip white dudes. Because most of us inherited our billions, and we all had off-white nannies and wet-nurses. My diaper changer was herself from ‘south of the border,’ and I loved that woman fierce, like she was my own mother. Till we had to get her deported for stealing food from us, to feed her eight kids living off of welfare. So we felt we could, like, relate to him as an ordinary person who served us in a hospitality capacity. I feel so betrayed. We all do." Mr A. Billionaire.

In the latest Rasmussen poll, taken the day after Obama's controversial comments, Clinton has gained support in Hyannisport. She now leads Obama 80% to 20% amongst the hyper-rich, who still remain the socio-economic group to attract for those who wish to buy the 2008 Presidential election.

No Earmark Left Behind

Have you noticed how so much in the news is now beyond parody because, well... it already reads as a parody?

In that vein, somewhere in a parallel looniverse, this story from our fake sister blog POLITISCUM, is actually happening.

CONGRESS TO PASS ‘NO EARMARK LEFT BEHIND’ ACT?
Deepak Vijay Throwt, Senior Editor, Politiscum
4/11/08

Democrat party leaders are moving fast to improve the Democrat controlled Congress’s favorability rating amongst special interests, lobbyists, and crooks.

Party insiders have told Politiscum of a recent secret meeting between Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi at the Robert K. Byrd Memorial Bridge, Museum, & Brothel ($378 million earmark provision to the Armed Services Medical Security Act, 2003).

Apparently they agreed a joint House/Senate approach to the NO EARMARK LEFT BEHIND ACT to ensure our most precious resource: pork barrel spending through government funded programs.

Senate Majority leader Harry Reid says: “Bush’s illegal pre-emptive war against earmarks is lost. He needs to admit defeat, bring his troops home, and let the porking begin.”

In a statement House Speaker Pelosi said: “When the Founding Pilgrim Parents wrote our constitution thing, sometime in the 1500s, if I remember correctly from that University class I attended for half a semester, they guaranteed everyone would be happy forever thanks to the government giving WE THE PEEPS lots of stuff after “taxing the crap” from the rich evil descendents of George Three and his robber Barons, which for the purposes of social justice includes all those earning more than $30,000 a year."

House and Senate officers hope to start the legislative process in the ten day window between the never-ending Easter recess and the long summer vacations.